Vince Young Is Helping The Case of The Bell Curve

In a recent ESPN interview, Vince Young proved that his Wonderlic score of 6 was not a fluke, it was a career highlight. Say what you will about him, but he is living proof that if you are in an athlete in college, your two available majors are “Avoidance of STDs from that White Chick Who Digs Black Guys Just To Piss Her Dad Off” and “Semantics: The Art of Denying That Your New 2,700 sq/ft Home and Escalade In No Way Came From The Athletic Department.”

Here is the transcript from the interview, translated into White for all my readers from the Hamptons.:

Interviewer: You recently said that if you can’t play with the Tennessee Titans you want to go somewhere where you can play. What did you mean by that?

Vince Young: I'm sayin’ is, you know I'm ready to play football. I'm comparative, and I don't know what NFL player around the lee don't wants to play or be a starter. So what I'm sayin is dat I’m ready to play ball. And if it's not here and in my next two years dat I’m not going to play here than I’m telling guys around the lee dat I’m ready to play football. Dat's basically what I’m saying compared to whatever everyone else was sayin. You know, takin' it out of text, sayin he ready to be traded, he want to leave the Tennessee Titans. No that's not what I’m sayin I’m sayin I’m ready to play football and if I don't get a shot again to play here than obviously I’m not gonna be here.

Interviewer: In your heart do you want to a part of the Tennessee Titans?

Vince Young: Oh yeah I definitely want to be a Tennessee Titans. Once I signed my name and dotted on that dotted line that I’m a Tennessee Titans, committed to the team dat’s what I am until otherwise. it not fun being a backup, I’m not gonna sit up here and lie to you about dat you know, cuz I definitely like I said I wanna play. I wanna be starting, I wanna be running, I wanna be taking doz blows for my teammates , standing in dat pocket, and deliver dat pass down de field taking dat hit, or comin out bleeding or...dat pain. You know. I… I wanna be out der doin dat with dem guys, but you know, um, gotta be patient, gotta be, I…I…I…I gotta be patient right naw.

And now, The Above 12 I.Q. Translation:

Vince Young: Listen, people were saying I don’t want to be here if I can’t start, and that’s just not the case. The point I was trying to make was that if I can’t get significant playing time, such as in a starting position, than I’m prepared to not play here because I don’t want to be here. So you can clearly see how that’s different, and how all the rumors started.

Vince Young: Despite my comment less than 5 seconds ago, of course I want to be a single member of the Tennessee Titans and not a pluralized form of one person. I signed that contract, which I couldn’t read, because my agent promised me a week’s supply of Snack Packs for scribbling on that line with the tiny Post-It note next to it. Seemed like a fair deal at the time. But man, I don’t want to be on the bench. I want to be on the field, constantly proving the media right and reminding myself that just because I can run fast doesn’t really mean shit. I want to eventually be sacked 14 times a game, have 1:4 TD/Int ratio, relishing in the fact that most mentally retarded people don’t get paid millions of dollars to do so. But I just have to hold on and be patient, because I think we all now that Snack Pack delivery should be coming any day now.