I'm Out Of Commission

So I am a recent victim of a "bug" that has forced all liquids and solids to abandon ship. But I will be back in full force tomorrow. For now, enjoy these clips that sum up my day.

Lady GuyGuy?

Lady Gaga, the biggest succubus in the music industry at this moment, is finally catching up to hers...um, I mean himself? Rumors are spreading across the internet that she is actually a he. Well, to be accurate, she is a he/she. The wildfire spread after a concert in Glastonbury:



It has even commented on this speculation, stating:

"Its not something that I'm ashamed of, just isn't something that i go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but i consider myself a female," she reportedly wrote in a blog back in December 2008.

"I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I'm sexy, I'm hot."

As talentless and ugly as she is, this wouldn't surprise me in the least. Because honestly, the only time I've ever really paid attention to Lady Gaga was the moment she tried to steal the ring back from Frodo.

Sarah Palin Is Nucking Futs

One thing Sarah Palin hasn't quit is being a maverick. Of course, this is only true if you define maverick as parading your down syndrome baby around as an example for why the government wants to kill him and your grandma. In a facebook post, Palin wrote:


The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society,” whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.

Health care by definition involves life and death decisions. Human rights and human dignity must be at the center of any health care discussion.

Yep. Obama isn't limiting himself to palling around or forging birth certificates, he's into bureaucratic mass murder now too. At this point our only hope is that this woman comes face to face with Gozer the Destroyer, because the only thing that will shut her up is a 85 foot tall sound clip of the dumbest possible thing anyone could say.