Heidi Got Shampoo In Her Eyes...

Heidi Montag, known for her portrayal of a real person role on "The Hills" and for letting that dude on the left put his dangle in her tata, has reportedly quit NBC's "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here" after 1 episode due to a barrage of attacks from fellow castmates. They reportedly ripped off the labels on her shampoo and pointed and laughed at her. As if that wasn't enough, they called her Doody-Head and wouldn't let her take a counter-shot for her cooties.



I'm not even sure why this is a big deal. If the name of the show is "...Get Me Out of Here," shouldn't Douche and Mrs. Douche win some kind of prize for a first round knockout? Who knew all it took was a terrorist attack on a bottle of Pert Plus to send this maniac over the edge?

Rumor is she flipped out like this because she didn't have the MTV crew around to tell her what to do and say. Now these vicious bastards in the form of F-List celebrities come along and rip off the Rinse and Repeat directions? This is the kind of suffering the Pope is going to deny ever existed in 60 years.

If I was told I had to kill Santa in front of an orphanage or else Heidi would go on living, I'd send a bouquet of flowers and some soft batch cookies to extend my condolences to those little brats. God love 'em, nobody else seems to.